We’ve selected the best body-language techniques from the book and shared them below.
The Flooding Smile
“Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone,”
says Lowndes. If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line of sight
would receive that same smile.
Instead, pause and look at the other person’s face for a
second, and then let a “big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face
and overflow into your eyes.”
Even though the delay is less than a second, it will
convince people your smile is sincere and personalized for them.
According to Lowndes, a slower smile can add more richness and depth to
how people perceive you.
Sticky Eyes
“Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner’s
with sticky warm taffy,” Lowndes advises. Even after they’ve finished
speaking, don’t break eye contact. “When you must look away, do it ever
so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string
finally breaks.”
You can also try
counting your conversation partner’s blinks. In a case study, subjects
reported significantly higher feelings of respect and fondness for their
colleagues who used this technique.Epoxy Eyes
In a group of people, you should occasionally look at the
person you are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If your
attention is drawn to that person even when they are simply listening,
you show that you are extremely interested in his or her reactions.
Be warned — using full Epoxy Eyes can be a bit overwhelming
to the subject and could leave them feeling uncomfortable. You should
primarily watch the speaker, but allow your glance to bounce to your
target when the speaker finishes interesting points.
The Big-Baby Pivot
People are very conscious of how you react to them. When
you meet someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give them the
same, undivided attention you would give a baby. Lowndes says,
“Pivoting 100% toward the new person shouts, ‘I think you are very, very
special.’”
Limit The Fidget
If you want to appear credible, try not to move too much
when your conversation really matters. “Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle,
squirm, or scratch,” Lowndes says. Frequent hand motions near your face
can give your listener the feeling that you’re lying or anxious.
Instead, simply fix a constant gaze on the listener and show them that
you’re fully concentrated on the matter at hand.
Hang By Your Teeth
This visualization trick will help you look more confident
with your posture, which Lowndes describes as “your biggest success
barometer.” To do this, visualize a leather bit hanging from the frame
of every door you walk through. Pretend that you are taking a bite on
the dental grip, and let it sweep your cheeks into a smile and lift you
up.
“When you hang by your teeth,” Lowndes says, “every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position.“ Your head will be held high, shoulders back, torso out of your hips, and feet weightless.
This trick also works because of the frequency people walk
through doorways. If you visualize anything often enough, it becomes a
habit. “Habitual good posture is the first mark of a big winner.”
Hello, Old Friend
When you first meet someone, imagine they’re your old
friend. According to Lowndes, this will cause a lot of subconscious
reactions in your body, from the softening of your eyebrows to the
positioning of your toes.
An added benefit to this technique is that when you act as
though you like someone, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — you
might really start to like them. Lowndes says, “What it boils down to is
love begets love, like begets like, respect begets respect.”
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